Helpful read, thanks for sharing! We have been (slowly) working on some fairness related queueing features over in pgmq for a bit too https://github.com/pgmq/pgmq/pull/442. It does get complicated on Postgres IMO.
For me the main issue with these systems is that its still seen as a special case of backend execution. I think the real value is just admitting that every POST/PUT should kick off a durable execution, but that doesn't seem to match the design, which considers these workflows quite heavy and expensive, and bases its price on it.
What we need is an opinionated framework that doesn't allow you to do anything except durable workflows, so your junior devs stop doing two POSTs in a row thinking things will be OK.
Hah, well I'll avoid _talking to_ vendors, more specifically I'll avoid talking to salespeople selling a technical product until we're pretty deep in the product. I do tend to not use vendors that don't have a good self-serve path or mechanism to get my technical questions answered.
What we need is an opinionated framework that doesn't allow you to do anything except durable workflows, so your junior devs stop doing two POSTs in a row thinking things will be OK.